Sunday, February 12, 2012

Best Movie Quote Ever

"Sometimes being a bitch is all a woman has to hold on to." Dolores Claiborne

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Torn Between Two Lovers

I have a confession. I'm in love with another man. Actually, two other men.

Jon. Fortyish. Slightly greying at the temples. A bit on the short side. That's ok. (No one would describe me as tall - unless they were an oompa loompa). Sarcastic sense of humor. (I don't think I need to explain that one)! Politically speaking, we are totally sympatico.

I'm obsessed. I see him when I'm lying in bed watching tv at night.

The best part is that he's not always bothering me to have sex!!!! Yeah, he's happily married and has some kids. And, yeah, he lives in New York, and, yeah, technically we've never met. But I'm relatively sure we're soalmates!

You might have heard of him. He has a tv show. I'd like to say his name, but, given the marital situation, I probably shouldn't.

Then there's Steve. Very different from Jon, but, fabulous, nonetheless. He's contemplative (he wears glasses) in a quiet, yet loud, irreverant kind of way. He is inappropriately confident in his beliefs. If I didn't know better, I would think he was Bill O'Reilly! He's not. (Steve's way better looking). I even see them in my sleep - especially when I leave the tv on (for the light) - on mute, of course.

Stop pressing! I get it. He's married with kids, and I haven't technically met him either. But it's possible we're soulmates. Who are you to judge! Justin Bieber says, "never say never." Seriously. Can't argue with Justin! He's kinda cute. I'm not seventeen, but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate his talent and charisma (I would throw in his cuteness but that might imply I'm a pedophile and I swear I'm not)! Crap, I already did.

It's late and now I remember how much I have in common with Craig Ferguson. He's from Scotland. My mother is from Ireland. (I know they are different countries, but they both have accents). He had a problem with alcohol and quit drinking. Oh wait. Nevermind.

Damn. Now I need to move to New York (for Jon or Steve). Or to LA for Craig. What's a woman to do?

I Lost. Nuff Said!

I Never Met a Moose I Didn't Like

It's frequently said that the moose, despite their cuteness, are actually vicious animals. Especially a mom moose with her baby (I don't know what a baby moose is called, so I'll stick with baby). This warning was again given by the townspeople during our recent visit to the mountain town, Grand Lake.

I'm a mom. I want to protect my children. But we were riding ATV's and came upon this mom moose and her baby by the side of the road. She didn't try to run or hide, and I wanted a picture.

I'm not totally irresponsible. I told my kids to slow down but not completely stop. I got the picture and no one died. It's all good!

Saturday, June 18, 2011

A Day at The Beach

I'm lying on beautiful white sand (plastic chair) on a deserted island (my deck). The birds are singing familiar tunes (ipod). There are no roads on this island which is fine since I totalled my camel (car). There is a plentiful supply of cold water (diet coke).

In a few minutes I am going to entertain myself by watching the wild life (movie).

Wait a minute. I hear voices coming from the ocean (front door). It's pirates (unspecified members of my family). Uh oh!

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

First Amendment - How Could You Fail Me Now?

When I was in law school, I studied First Amendment Law with the visiting professor from Harvard - Archibald Cox. That's like studying philosophy with Socrates himself. Or studying the Bible with God himself. Or learning why E=MC2 from Einstein. Or how to get Adonis DNA from Charlie Sheen. You get the point!

No one in the world believed more in the importance of Freedom of Speech more than Archibald Cox. The First Amendment was "First" for a reason. The founding fathers felt exactly the same way.

Freedom of Speech is the most powerful right that people can have. Which is why it is the right most frequently denied in communist regimes and dictatorships. But despite Mr. Cox's ferocity in representing this right, sometimes, in practice, the consequences of practicing it are huge.

Just ask Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr!

I can't be more specific. But I have decided that it is not in my best interest to post Act II of A Midsummer Nignt's Nightmare.

Sorry. It was funny.

Monday, May 30, 2011


"California Dreamin' by the Mama's and the Papa's.