How to Corrupt a Minor

Charmaine arrived in Denver on New Year's Eve.

Very disappointed in her younger sister's lack of coolness, (as evidenced by having no plans for the most celebrated night of the year), she immediately asked for directions (and a ride) to Party City.

A party - ok. Guest list: Dan, me, our 3 boys, our 14-year old niece, Chandler, and 11-year old nephew, Burke, and, of course, Charmaine.

Party supplies: party hats, tiaras, blowy things, silly string, balloons, and maybe a little alcohol.

Sounds good, right? A little family-friendly gathering to usher in the new decade. What could possibly go wrong?

Balloons - helium balloons. In innocent hands, the biggest consequence of balloons is a popping sound when it escapes and hits the popcorn ceiling or when a child sits on it.

That was before Charmaine showed the kids how to inhale helium. See for yourself.

Vegas - Where Old Stars Go to Die, or Live, Depending on the Situation

You gotta love Vegas! I don't, but clearly, someone does.

Michael Jackson informed me that my $1 "tip" for having my photo taken with him was inadequate. He needed at least $2.

I'm not sure what he would've done if I didn't give him another dollar. Maybe throw his red lipstick at me!

Elvis was much cooler!

mm

Ok, so I didn't get a photo with the young Elvis. Or the old Elvis. Or the old, fat Elvis.

I DID, however, get a picture with the dwarf Elvis. (Bet you didn't even know there was one)!

mmm

Of course, I bitched to my friends about the horror of the clear exploitation of this man, but they told me to shut up and smile. (photos to follow)

But, the highlight absolutely had to be Donny and Marie!

mmm

I was 10-years old again. And my bitch of a sister had a Donny poster on her wall, ergo, I couldn't. I had to settle for a poster of David Cassidy. It was so wrong!

mmm

On a different topic, I want to know how it is that I go to sin city and end up giving free legal advice on divorce to the stranger who danced with my friends?

mmm

Seriously? He didn't even buy me a beer!