Saturday, May 9, 2009

Jesus is Designing My Business Cards

No. Not THAT Jesus. It's the Jesus at Office Depot. The real Jesus doesn't communicate directly with me like he does with George Bush. Although I think that Jesus is working through the other Jesus to provide me with a fabulous business card.

I don't think Jesus minds that I don't go to church and don't believe in God, do you? Jesus clearly cares about the downtrodden which makes him a Democrat. And Democrats don't discriminate against others on the basis of religious beliefs.

So, he wants the economy to rebound since it's the downtrodden that were all screwed by the rich assholes on Wall Street and the banking system.

For the economy to recover, unemployed people(like me) need to find jobs and make money which they can then inject into the economy by buying shoes. (At least that's what the "experts" say, and who am I to argue with them!)

My theoretical law firm is going to do bankruptcy and tax resolution. I know what you're thinking. Technically, I can't make money unless other downtrodden people are in dire financial straits. Cause if the economy recovers and there are no more downtrodden people, who is going to hire me to file for bankruptcy or argue with the IRS?

Does this mean that Jesus and I DON'T want the economy to recover? Noooooooo! Of course not! Jesus wants to help the downtrodden so they can buy shoes. Ergo, I need downtrodden clients.

Ok, Now I'm confused. But answer me this, why else would Jesus be designing my business cards?


JIMSIGHT said...

I don't think Jesus is interested in finacial matters.. so you are good there, well I am sure the Jesus making the cards is but not the Jesus that cares for matters of the heart/soul.. Pretty sure that Jesus would be a libertarian.. like small Government.. you know 3 guys.. on house one senate one executive branch.. father son and wholly shit this has endless possibilites..

anyway hope your cards are the bomb and hope tons of folks in your area have tax and financial woes..

jones12 said...

Briana - Glad to hear you've started a law practice! sounds like it coul dcome in handy for a lot of people. (I know I have tax problems)

Would love to see those business cards.
Is is summer in Colorado yet? LA is on fire, rather Santa Barbara is on fire. Hope all is well.

Dave Norman

Charmaine said...

Seriously, I had no idea how funny and intelligent you are...and I'm your sister.

When did you get so intelligent and funny?

Have you been reading books or something? said...

I thought Jesus communicated directly with George Burns?


Eat Well. Live Well.