Wednesday, September 23, 2009

The Gormleys Are Vicious!

I know they look like a sweet pair of 86-year olds in Ireland. That's their cover.

When I was a helpless 2-year old in Ireland, I attempted to escape the insanity that is my family. In the cover of night, in my jammies, I surrepticiously walked 2 doors down to the Gormleys house.

I quietly knocked on the door just as they were headed to bed. They let me in. I was saved.

My grandmother discovered that I was missing and headed to the first place she thought I would go - the Gormleys. (Damn, I knew I should have hidden in the bushes!) She attempted to retrieve me from my safe haven, but I refused to go with her. Even at 2, I had a keen sense of self-preservation. Defeated, my grandmother went home alone.

Yippee! I had a new family :) !

For the next few days, my grandmother came back to abduct me. But, I wasn't born yesterday. I was born 724 days earlier. So, just like Anne Frank, I hid in the attic. (I hadn't read that book yet, but great minds think alike.)

Eventually, the Gormleys made me go back with my grandmother. I'm pretty sure there had to have been a threat of violence. My grandparents were well-known in Ireland for their involvement with the IRA.

Still, the Gormleys abandoned me. I never saw them again - until last month.

I had been waiting for 43 years to tell them how much they screwed up my life by making me go back. But I couldn't do it.

They had to be the sweetest old couple that I've ever met. They gave us tea and "Digestives" (which are fabulous cookies with chocolate on one side). So I forgave them.

I mean chocolate - who could ask for more!


SSP said...

i too would have overlooked the transgressions of the past in exchange for digestive what a way to keep the kids from eating your cookies..."what is in that box, mom?" "nothing but my digestive biscuits, son, would you like one?"
"Uhhh, thanks but no thanks mom...."

you always were intrepid....

Briana said...

I bought some at the grocery store and my kids were unphased. They didn't take the time to read the label, they just saw that they were cookies. I'm gonna have to hide them with the Milanos!

Charmaine said...

What an incredible story.

I can't believe it despite the fact I was there.

I smell a book. I'm not one for false flattery.

I'm just sayin...I'd like to read the tale...should you ever chose to tell it.

Briana said...

I just wrote it. That's all there is with that story.

Charmaine said...

Oh. Can't you stretch it out a bit?

SSP said...

hey she stretched the last 11 days in NYC out to about 25 years now...