Friday, November 7, 2008

The Case of the Missing Scallops

While some might assert that any attempt of mine to make dinner is somewhat of a mystery in and of itself, today it reached a new and unprecedented level. My scallops vanished. Did you ever see the movie "The Vanishing"? (The original foreigh version is waaaay better than the US remake). It was terrifying. And I am very concerned that my scallops have been buried alive somewhere just like that woman. But I have gotten ahead of myself. It all started with my grand plan to make dinner tonight (damn the Food Network and that bitch, Rachael Ray)!

In these economically-challenged times, I attempted to make dinner from what I had on hand. A few days ago, my mother brought over a package of frozen shrimp and a package of frozen scallops (a.k.a., the deceased). My eldest son LOVES seafood, and given his mom's equal (if not more) dislike of seafood, he never gets it. So, I thought, ok, I need to figure something out for this. I scoured through my many unopened cookbooks and found a recipe that actually called for shrimp and scallops. And, hallelujah, I had everything else that the recipe called for.

But then, it happened. I put the shrimp in the fridge to defrost. Then went to get the scallops, but they weren't there. Ok. Did I already put them in the fridge? Umm. No. Ok, let's go through the freezer again. Umm. No. Ok. I threw out some freezer-burned stuff in the freezer. Did I accidentally throw them away. This will require that I dig through the trash. This is my fricking dinner, so ok, I'm a trooper. Damn it. They're not there!

Pantry? Cabinet? Under the sink? In the oven? Downstairs fridge or freezer? Downstairs trash? No. Take a "What Not to Wear" break. Start over. Empty freezer - again. Downstairs fridge and freezer. Cabinet. Trash (yes, I did that again). No luck. I had to accept the fact that the scallops were gone.

Yes. Dinner went on. It was pretty good. But there was an empty feeling in my stomach. There were no scallops. And the question remains - whare are the fricking scallops? Seriously.


SSP said...

BWAHAHAHHAHAAAA that is the funniest thing I have read in ages!!!!! Please tell me if you find them!!!!

JIMSIGHT said...

Can you smell them yet? I hate losing things like that, I have done the trash digging thing on more than one occasion. How come Rachael Ray never digs through the trash on her show. Maybe I would like if she did.

Briana said...

I thought I would smell them by now, but no such luck (of course, I don't really mean that it would be luck to smell them). But no. I can't smell them. I do have 3 smelly boyss though, with seriously smelly feet, so it's hard to tell!

Charmaine said...

Maybe they are in Moms purse with her Maltese. Since she can't smell...this could spell disaster.

Briana said...

I've given up. They're gone. I'm thinking that they schooched out the door when they heard they were tonights dinner.