Sunday, November 30, 2008

A Christmas Wish

I have a personality defect that I am pretty sure I inherited from my mother. Obnoxiousness. I don't actually TRY to be obnoxious; I just sometimes end up that way. That being said, it is time for my annual X-mas card. Stop moaning! I don't write about how intelligent, successful, and athletic my children are (not that they aren't those things). I just put in some of the real stuff, which I have been told communicates what my kids are really like. I also tend to put in a teeny weeny smidge of my liberal nature. I don't mean to piss off the Republicans in this family (that is just an added bonus). Actually, by now they have come to expect this from me.

Anyway, given the result of this year's election - the complete repudiation of Bush and his cronies from even the most Republican of states - Democrats regaining significant control of the House and Senate - even the stock market reacting to the promise of intelligence in power. I'm feeling a little validated. I like that. So how much gloating is acceptable under these circumstances? You have to keep in mind that I have listened ad nauseum to certain members of this family airing racist statements, complete and utter ignorance, and yet feeling quite comfortable deriding me for my opinions.

I am not going to gloat as much as I would like to. I do think that it would be funny, though, to re-write the poem "Twas the Night Before Christmas" in a funny (ok, gloating) fashion. This is what I have so far. I am open to revisions.

Twas the night before the election, when all through the White House
Not a creature was stirring, not even the louse.
The ballots were cast by the voters with care
In hopes a new President soon would be there.
The Dems were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of Obama danced in their heads.
Ma with her valium and me with my rum,
Had just accepted the notion of global recession
When on CNN there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my stupor to see what was the matter.
When what to my pessimistic eyes should appear
But a map of blue states, a few red, there and here.
A black man in the White House, could it be true?
You mean someday a woman could be President, too?
The crowds cheered as they called them by name
Now Bush, now Cheney, now Rove and Condi,
On Rumsfeld, on Ashcroft, on Gonzalez and Libby.
Get out of the West Wing, get out of the hall.
Dash away, dash away, dash away all.
He walked off the stage and gave Palin a wink.
History was made, making all of us think.
But I heard him exclaim as he rode out of sight
Yes we can - Yes we did - Republicans, good night!

My bad?


SSP said...

LOVE IT!!! That is hilarious, Briana! I, too, am going to have to really restrain myself this year in my christmas novel...i just itch to ratchet it up a few notches, but you know what happens when I gloat out comes back to bite me in the ass.

Briana said...

I know. It was tempting to write something about some of the incredible screw-ups of the Bush/Cheney years, but I thought I better not. I kept trying to figure out a way to use "misunderestimated," but I can't think of how to work it in.

Charmaine said...

Ha ha. That was goood! Love it! I see my word in there...(louse) hee hee

Braja said...

I think I inherited the same thing from my mother, who's a tiny bit obnoxious. In an effort to move away from that kind of thing (and from being compared to my mother, every teen gir's nightmare), I excelled in worked for me.

Briana said...

I drive a VW Bug and my license plate says UBUGME2. I am revealing my obnoxiousness to the entire Denver metro area!

Braja said...

Wow, that's professional obnoxiousness; on par with writing a book about whatever you want and getting it published...I'm working on that. If I had a car I'd say "....and then I'll get plates..."!!

Briana said...

Every once in a while, I see someone driving past me practically breaking their neck to see who could be such an incredible bitch. Hee, hee.