Sunday, December 21, 2008

"Santa Isn't Black!"

When's the last time you heard THAT at a Christmas party?

I heard it last night. Uttered by a 7-year old girl, embroiled in an argument with, you guessed it, a black Santa. Santa tried, in vain, to explain to her (over the raucous laughter) that there were, in fact, black Santas. "Just go out to East Denver".

She wasn't buying it.

I can't really say I blame her. I had to convince black Santa himself (as I was delivering my Santa suit a few days earlier) that there ARE black Santas. As proof, I showed him my Christmas ornament of a black Santa sitting at a piano.

He didn't buy it either.

Of course, until recently, no one thought that there would be a black President in the near future either. Which would lead one to think that times are changing, right? But change is slow, and racists never change their spots. (They just blot on a little concealer). But every woman knows that concealer doesn't work for very long.

I discovered a heavily "made-up" man at Friday night's Christmas party (which had no black Santas). We were having an interesting conversation about the First Amendment. Some of you might think that those are mutually-exclusive terms, but they're really not. (Previous readers will remember that I took a class in First Amendment Law taught by Archibald Cox).

Anyhoo, there was a small hullabaloo a while ago when a kid wore a t-shirt to school that said something about Obama being friends with terrorists. The school decided that the t-shirt was disruptive. They gave the kid the option to turn the shirt inside out, change, or be suspended. He chose to be suspended. His father immediately alleged this was a violation of the First Amendment.

So this guy at the party brings this up with a very strong belief that the First Amendment was, indeed, violated. As someone who took First Amendment Law from the man who argued more First Amendment cases before the US Supreme Court than anyone else, and who had the most impact on how the First Amendment continues to be interpreted to this day, I explained to this man that kids in school do not enjoy the same First Amendment rights that the rest of us do.

This man was so annoyed that I felt I had to explain that this wasn't my idea. It's just the law. For a moment, I thought I had a real card-carrying member of the ACLU in my midst. But later, as he dismissed the notion of respecting others' religions, I realized that he was just another bigot.

I bet he would be surprised to know that Santa is black. (And God is a woman!

12 comments:

SSP said...

what a dolt- there is plenty of low brain media on this issue, about how the 1st ammendment doesn't extend to schools or something like that...just cuz someone has a conceal and carry permit, doesn't mean they have the constitutional right to carry a gun into certain places....People who rigidly read the law and don't understand the vagaries are dangerous!!

Heather said...

First of all what type of parent would send their kid to school wearing a t-shirt like that. Talking about using your kids as weapons of destruction.

WHEW!

Thanks for visiting my site by the way.

Charmaine said...

ha ha. I'll bet she doesn't know that Jesus is black too.

I didn't know you had a class with Archibald? That's amazing.

Did I just spell his name wrong?

Briana said...

Heather,I'm sure the father instructed the kid to refuse to change so that he would get suspended so that he could make a big fuss and sue the school. But it didn't work.

Charmin, you spelled it right. If you read an earlier post, you would know all about that class and how Archibald used to call on me constantly (probably cause I was in one of the closer seats) and since I got all shy and quiet, he couldn't hear me, so he'd keep turning up his hearing aids and saying, "What?"'

Comedy Goddess said...

Actually she is a black woman. God that is.

Braja said...

Actually she's white but the other God, the male, is black and she really loves him. It's a mixed race r/ship...

Braja said...

Actually you know something...I'm serious. In Vaisnavism, the oldest Indian religion (far outdating Hinduism and Buddhism), Krishna is the name for God. He is bluish-black, and his consort, Sri Radha, is white. She is considered more powerful than God because she holds him under her control...I just thought I'd clear that up so I don't sound like some rambling nutter who claims god is a woman. When she is. And I am. Ok...

Braja said...

I hope that was clear :)

PaulsHealthblog.com said...

My parents always had a good response during the holidays for something like this, "It's one of Santa's helpers!"

bernthis said...

Nothing is a bigger waste of time then arguing with a bigot. Seriously, standing on your porch and barking for an hour would be more productive.

Charmaine said...

Hee hee.

I'm so glad that you are my sister.

When are you running for office again? I forgot? Just do it already with the understanding that you might fail misreably...but that if you don't try at least...you will regret it forever.

God is black. Power to the people.

Briana said...

I was talking to my friend, Randy, (who happens to be black) and he looked at my blog. Upon seeing this post, he exclaimed with some surprise "What? Santa's black. I have one coming in a few days to a party"!