Sunday, September 7, 2008

Why Can't Women Be Football Coaches?

Did you notice the number of men coaching women's sports in the Olympics? (A bunch). Did you notice the number of women coaching men's sports? (Zero). What's up with that?

I want to coach my son's football team, but I'm pretty sure they won't let me. The youth football league here is whacked, much like the youth football league everywhere else. And I'm not sure why moms put up with it.

My son is the one tackling the quarterback and causing a fumble (#12). Cool, huh! (Feel free to praise the unbelievably skilled amateur photographer who was able to capture this fraction of a second)! Anyway, what is it about a vagina that precludes a person from coaching football? Look, I'm not asking why a woman can't be elected president (I'll address that in another post). I'm just asking why a woman can't teach a bunch of children how to hit each other. I mean, moms, especially stay-at-home moms, have seen more tackling amongst their children than the most voracious armchair quarterback man. Sure, we are usually trying to stop the tackling, but it can't be that hard to switch it around. It's a simple game. You throw the ball, you catch the ball, and you hit the ball. (Oh wait, that's baseball.)

But something is seriously wrong when a stupid volunteer coach argues with, and then yells at, a parent who fails to understand that "conditioning" is more important than trying to prevent an asthma attack. Or when a coach gets annoyed when a parent removes their child from a practice that is completely surrounded by lightening. (Colorado has the highest number of lightening-related deaths in the country). I could be wrong, but I doubt that women would endanger children as much as men. Oh I forgot, it's a man's world. More evolved men even admit that as witnessed by the following video.


Charmaine said...

I agree with you. However, first, you will have to learn how to play football.

Then, there is the locker room situation.

I'm not saying you couldn't. I'm just saying, who want's to that crap anyway? You have more important things to focus on.

Please try to stay focused.

You are a freaking GREAT're not a volunteer loser football coach.

Briana said...

Umm, dear sister. Did you miss the sarcasm? I don't want to be a fricking football coach! I have spent too many years trying to separate my kids from pummeling each other, to now turn around and tell kids to try to hit each other. I don't know how you tell kids that it's usually not ok to try to hurt someone, but now it is. Stupid sport! Who came up with football?

Charmaine said...

Oh...duh. On paper, people miss my sarcasm too.

Who came up with football? hmmmm, some guy?